Posted on 02-04-2011
Filed Under (My Stories) by NightCrawler on 02-04-2011
TWC Sucks

Watch Out What TWC Does

The Crawler’s April Fool’s Day…

 Well where do I start on this Weird Day appropriately named “April Fool’s Day”?  To say the least I am glad this day is almost over, because it has been for me personally “One of Those Days”.  To bring a point home the name “April Fool’s Day” Sucks Rocks and I personally wish it would be striked from calendar as not to come again.  (And it may not if the May 21th Prophecy comes true*)  But I truly feel I have been cursed the whole day starting from last night (March 31) about 6pm CST, until just about 5pm CST (April 1).  A full 23 hours of complete disarray in the life of “The NightCrawler”.

 But as stated at about 6pm last night I was sitting in my chair watching the daily news, as I do almost each and every day, and I noticed my A/C in the house was getting a little “warm”.  You see I have it set at 78 degrees, like they say to during the summertime, but when I checked the thermostat on my wall it read 80 degrees.  Wrong Answer I said.  I went to a room in my house where its window overlooks my outside compressor unit, and what do I see?  The outside compressor is not running.  Well I shut down my unit, went to check the circuit breakers and everything looked OK.  I then called my A/C-Heating Company and they stated they could get someone out in about 2 hours.  Well it is springtime, and the forecast was for it to be around 55 degrees overnight, so I said not tonight, if they could just send someone out tomorrow morning.  The operator said yes and scheduled me between 8-10am, for which the repairman arrived at about 9am and fix the unit.  My arch-enemy the Fire-Ants has struck again!  The guy accomplished my annual A/C inspection and replaced the part, which was eaten up by the stupid Fire-Ants, under my 10 year Lennox owner’s warranty, so it did not cost me anything.  The one and only great part of my 23 hours of disarray, which saved me that $330.00 repair bill!

 Then we needed to go to the grocery store to replenish our refrigerator and storage room goods after one week of hungry appetites.  On our way there in our truck, this stupid delivery van came across the road from a shopping center and appeared to be headed into the neighborhood McDonald’s parking lot, apparently not noticing yours truly driving about 30 mph, in the right hand lane, of the 2 lane road.  It looked to me as if he was going to turn and enter the left hand lane, but he continued to go right towards Mickey D’s.  Well after I slammed on my brakes, along with my car’s horn, we came about 1-2 inches from colliding right there in the right hand lane.  I continued on around him, rolled my window down, gave the driver (a man wearing a stupid looking cap) the appropriate finger salute, along with a couple of choice words (FU and a few others), and continued on to the grocery store and into another chapter of my day.

 Well within the grocery store, I was minding my own business, watching my better half looking at some whole tomatoes in a can, when I must have touched ever so lightly a shelf with those Raman noodles in a cup, and the WHOLE shelf emptied onto the isle.  OK now, picture in your mind, a big 250 pound guy, peacefully standing behind our shopping cart, with about 200 boxes of Raman Noodles all around him on the floor.  And here all my better half could do was look at me with a strange look, and laughing her butt off at me.  And all I could think was, this is just NOT my day.  So a clerk finally came up to the scene and I explained what happened, and he understood, so we just went along with our shopping.  I was so embarrassed I could have crawled into the fridge then and would have felt better.

 Hey it’s not over yet ladies and gentlemen, we are only getting started here with the rest of my fabulous day.  Well the grocery store issue was at about 1pm CST (April1), and now I am home.  We “were”, with a heavy emphasis on WERE, going to go out and eat this afternoon, but after our experience of hours past, we both decided to just stay at home for the rest of the day and NOT tempt fate’s hands any further on this great day (April Fool’s Day).   

 Well the NEXT Chapter came when me and my better half were both just sitting back and talking in our living room.  She stated to me that there was one of our favorite channels on our TV that she could not get late last night.  (BTW Time-Warner Cable is my TV, Cable, and Phone provider so that should explain everything here without any further explanation.)  So I went to that channel and a big blue screen was looking me right in the face stating that the “Variety Service requires a $6.99 monthly fee, please select “Buy” to purchase”.  Well as I have already been aroused this day basically due to events just previously, I grabbed my channel guide, along with my TWC Bill for this month, from my cabinet and dialed my local TWC support.  I went through all of the bullcrap you have to do with those voice activated systems, for which I totally Hate but that is another story in its own, and finally got a cable TV tech, for which I “calmly” explained my problem.  I basically stated I have been paying each month for this “Variety Service” for the past four plus years and that I wanted my channels back as nice as I could.  Well she went through my account and stated that Mr. Crawler (not my real name of course) yes I see where that is under your account and she would see if she could help me with getting it back.  Well after 2 cable box reboots, which takes about 5-8 minutes each, the channels still would not re-appear.  Well she set me up with an appointment THIS EVENING for a tech to come out to my house and troubleshoot my problem with the missing channels.  I said OK, that would be fine with me.   I asked the operator what could have happened overnight that could have accomplished this or affected my service.  She could not answer that question so I just said Thank You and ended the conversation.

 This leads me into my second technology problem of the day, which again is with the same Time-Warner Cable as before.  (Sounds like a running Joke now huh!)  Well after sitting back again to get comfortable for the day, I thought to myself, if there is something NOW wrong with my Cable TV service, I just wonder if something is different now with my Roadrunner Internet Service, for which is my personal lifeline in this World Wide Web.  Well it did not take much to find out my internet speed had gone down significantly just overnight.  You see I have TWC’s Roadrunner Turbo for which I should, and have been getting for the past 4 plus YEARS, and been paying for with my hard earned money.  Well first off before I get into this, TWC’s Roadrunner Tech Support $UCK$!  (I had to say that first)  Well when I called tech Support I got connected with a man from India by his accent, and he did not know crap.  I explained to this asshat I have been paying for Roadrunner Turbo since it first came out 4-5 years ago, and have been getting 2 Mbs on the upload during that timeframe up until last night, and just overnight I got dropped down to 1 Mbs on the upload.  All he could say numerous times was “Mr. Crawler (again not my real name) you are getting the speed that you are paying for in the San Antonio area, about 1.04 Mbs on the upload.”  I basically then told him that “he was full of crap (different word used there) and that he needed to read his speech manual more closely”.  I again advised him “nicely” that he was incorrect and that I wanted my 2 Mbs on the upload back before the end of the hour.  He again started his spill and I just stated “You are just an “ArseWhole” (again the other word), you don’t know what you are talking about, and I was going to contact ATT about a change in my internet service, and have a Nice Day, as I have” and hung up.  

 Well after walking around my house for a minute or two after that experience, for which my blood pressure must have been hitting its HIGH mark for the day now, I thought if I am paying for a service now and not getting it, that I need to cancel my turbo subscription and take back my extra $10 that I pay for that service.  I then telephoned the billing section of my local TWC office.  After explaining quietly and nicely as I could about what just transpired over the phone with her Roadrunner Tech Support, the lady TWC representative I spoke to there, asked me if she could fix the problem right there if I could be happy again.  I said yes of course I just want what I pay for back.  Well after about 5 minutes, and one cable modem re-boot, my speed was back to normal (2Mbs on the Upload).   I said a gracious Thank You and that I appreciated her assistance.  And that time I wished her a Great Day, for which I actually meant it.

I spoke with my better half, and told her my internet problem had finally been corrected, and she asked if our channels were back.  I said I did not know, but that I would check.  And low and behold our missing in action channels were back as well.  All I could do was to shake my head and proclaim to the world that Time-Warner Sucks Rocks, but they have good internet connection and/or service when they actually give it to you.  I then called up that dastardly mechanical voice operator and cancelled the appointment that I had for tonight.  Thinking back I should have let them come out and check my connection out anyway, but I thought if I saw another Time-Warner Representative I might just punch him or her.  LOL So not wanting to go to Jail tonight on April Fool’s Day, I thought it was better to just cancel it.  LOL

 Well it was about 4pm CST now, and I was just getting comfortable AGAIN in my chair, when a knock on the door came.  (The one and only “actual” April Fool’s Day Joke was then played on me)  My neighbor’s granddaughter said that “Tom you know you have a flat tire on the back of your truck?”.  Well at that time my heart sunk down as low as it could have with those words.  I thought that this would be a fitting end to this monstrous day of mine.  But my neighbor was standing just out of sight and when I turned the corner he said “Happy April Fool’s Day, Tom!”  All I could do then was to laugh out loud and then began to bend his and his granddaughter’s, ear for the next 30 minutes explaining what my day was like. 

 So that was MY April Fool’s Day, how was yours?

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